The words that move!
by BrookeMarie2604
Summary: Sam is confused, but who can help her? When things dont always make sense to her she begins to realise she may have to part with bits of her past which she never wanted to reveal.The pair are made to reveal parts of their past they may not be comfortable with sharing, even with each other. When Sam gets into a life threatening situation, will she involuntarily leave Dylan for good?
1. Chapter 1

Okay firstly im sorry that I kinda deleted 'Mistakes that shouldn't be made' Its because it was flopping epically so yeah I hope you enjoy this story a bit more and please review both on twitter and FanFic as they make me smile xx

I'd like to say a huge thank you to DrSamNicholls1 for listening to me and letting me open up to her so I could actually write this without my emotions getting out of control which I doubt they would've otherwise so thanks 3

(Oh and BTW Sam and Dylan are not together until I say so )

**Thoughts are in bold **

_**Flashbacks are in bold italics **_

**Sam's been staring at those notes for a while, must be something interesting **Zoe thought after watching Sam stare at the same set of notes for over twenty-five minutes before she walked up behind the young woman and peered over her shoulder "What are you looking at ?" Zoe said looking at the paper which Sam had been bemused by for such a long time but seemed already to have a diagnosis contained in the patients notes" There's already a diagnosis on this its a chest infection" Zoe finished looking at the young army medic who was still staring at the paper for reasons which Zoe could not understand

" I know that, I am not stupid" Sam said her voice wavering slightly with tear's present making it near impossible to control her emotions

"I know you aren't I never insinuated you were I was just confused at why you were staining at the paper for so long, and why are you crying ?" Zoe asked concern noted in her voice as she reached to touch the young woman's shoulder

"I am not crying its Urm hay fever" Sam replied before quickly heading off toward the cubical to deliver the news to her patient leaving the older medic staring at the young women curiously but also slight worry appearing on her face to why Sam who usually had her emotions in check seemed so upset.

"Zoe, why are you staring at Sam like a lost puppy? " Nick asked laughing at his friend and colleuge who had momentarily turned towards him before looking longingly after Sam who had turned a corner and was now out of her direct line of view

"Hmm its just she took ages to read some notes that seemed so simple it was a full diagnosis written just needed to be delivered"

"Maybe she's just tired, you know what its like reading when your tired " Nick said knowing Sam would hate to be spoke about he silently made a promise to himself to speak with her later to see how she was doing she may've been over worked since the incident with the GMC maybe that was why

"Hmm ok" Zoe said seemingly ignoring Nick's attempt to dismiss her concern knowing he was also concerned watching as the man she loved walk towards the other side of the department to find the young woman before heading t

off to continue her shift in recus

"Dylan, have you scene Sam ?" Nick asked as he entered CDU and saw the grumpy medic who was sitting in the darkness hidden partly by his desk in the corner

"Why would I have scene Dr Nicholls" Dylan asked seeing slightly irritated at the assumption he would know where the unpredictable army medic would be in or outside the department despite the pair being married.

"I hadn't assumed that you would Dr Keyo it was just a question, so have you ?"

"No, I haven't"

"Ok, so can you let her know if you see her want her ? "

"Yes. Well. Whatever" Dylan replied awkwardly before turning back towards the notes he was looking over before as Nick left the room quickly still looking for his young colleuge.

A while later Nick had located Sam in the staffroom he silently cursed himself for not looking there first of all but Sam of all people was not one to have a break especially during her shift so the though had not occurred that she would be in the most obvious place. As he entered the room he heard Sam sniffle as she wiped her eye quickly at the sound of another being entering the silent room.

"You ok Sam?" Nick asked sitting down next to the young woman and putting his hand on her small shoulders it wasn't like Sam to cry or to show any emotion bar Anger or passion which he had seen plenty of times before

"Yeah im fine why wouldn't I be?" Sa asked not looking up from the floor she had been staring at since her company had joined her just moments before as she shuffled his hand from where it had rested

"Its just Zoe said you were having some trouble earlier" Nick said trying to touch the subject carefully as in the emotional state she seemed to be in he didn't want to upset her further.

"No I wasn't im fine"

"Are you sure?" Nick asked obviously not convinced

"Yes im fine Nick don't patronize me" Sam shouted standing up and heading quickly towards the door obviously feeling as thought the conversation was over

"Sam wait im not trying to patronize you "Nick said grabbing the angered woman's arm causing her to quickly turn around which then resulted in the young blonde scrapping her wrist on the lockers in the process making her cry in pain

"Now look what you've made me do " Sam said grabbing her hand as she tried to hide how much it had actually hurt her.

"Let me have a look " Nick said reaching for Sam's hand which had began to bleed after the impact the hard surface had made with her hand

"No, its fine its fine im fine" Sam said beginning to open the door "Its just been a long day I'll be fine in the morning" Sam said walking out of the room. Nick sat down wondering what was going on with the young woman first of all she was having trouble that morning the she had gotten into such a state over nothing.

**I'll talk to Dylan see if he knows what's going on but I highly doubt that he'll even acknowledge me **Nick though before heading toward CDU only to be stopped by Zoe on route

"Any luck with Sam?" Zoe asked

" What do you think? It's Sam when does she ever open up to anyone? She just said she was tired but somehow I think she's hiding something from me"

"True, have you tried Dylan, maybe he'll know something"

"Just on my way to see him now" Nick said before walking of in the direction of CDU which seemed to be Dylan's sanctuary and he spent most of his time there despite it being an emergency department

"Good luck, Lenny said he's in a mood" Zoe said laughing at the misfortune at her boss having to infiltrate the grumpy doctors happy place in the department

"Brilliant" Nick remarked

A few moments late Nick had arrived at CDU which was as well as empty it was in full darkness which seemed to represent Dylan's foul mood which was rightly judged by Dr Lyons

"Dr Keyo" Nick said pulling up a chair opposite the medic

"Yes?" Dylan said without looking up from his patients note's

"Tell me about Dr Nicholls"

"Samantha, why would you want to know about Sam?" Dylan said quickly lifting his head at the sound of the women he still loved name was spoke

"Because I do, just tell me about her "

"Tell you what?"

"About her student days what was she like ?"

"Urm she was Urm dedicated and tried her hardest pushed herself to the limit which she did"

"Hmm"

"And why do you want to know this? Has she done something wrong?" Dylan asked worry present in his voiced showing how much he cared for his estranged wife despite their tricky past

"Don't worry Dylan she's done nothing wrong . Did she ever urm have trouble reading?"

"I um. Its not my job to say talk to Sam not to me"

"Dylan, don't play with me I need to know this don't make me call her University adviser"

"Just talk to Sam I cant say I cant do that to her I am not breaking that trust "

"Fine, thanks for the help Dr Keyo " Nick said before leaving the room and quickly sighted Sam across the department before summoning her to his office to express his concern

"What have I done this time, I swear whatever I did im sorry" Sam said as she sat in the chair Nick had offered her

"Somehow Dr Nicholls I think this is a too naturally occurrence for you to be here as you automatically assume your in trouble" Nick said placing himself on the tip of his desk as he spoke to Sam quietly

"You're probably right I'll behave can I go now?" Sam asked like a small child would ask a teacher to leave the room after being told off

"Sam, just sit for a moment are you ok?"

"Yes why wouldn't I be ?"

"Its just you seemed to be having a bit of trouble reading earlier you want to tell me something about that?"

"No not particularly no" Sam said dismissively it was obviously not a topic she liked to discuss with anyone

"Sam please there are other ways I can find out but I'd rather you tell me wouldn't you?"

"_**Fine so it was when I had just started her student placement at the same hospital Dylan was working as you know he was my mentor. It was within my first week Dylan had spotted it. He said any idiot could see I was a talented young doctor but I always seemed as though something was always holding me back. Without noticing was always reluctant to read aloud in case something came out wrong and whenever the phone rung I would busy myself so I didn't ever have to pass in or remember a message and to be honest I did a good job of hiding it too. Well there was one patient who I was in charge of it took me at least an hour to read over the notes Dylan said but I still couldn't grasp what it was saying but it seemed so simple he saw the confusion in my face and he I knew it wasn't just that i couldn't focus properly or I was too tired as everyone else had assumed even me to a certain extent.**_

"Come on Sam you can tell me what was you diagnosed with I wont judge you"

"Dyslexia" She muttered "Dyslexia"

I hope you guys enjoyed this update it will liven up and stop being so boring in the next few updates please R&R as they make me really happy at the moment xx


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks everyone for all the lovely reviews I've been getting both of fanfic and on twitter you guys are so sweet xx

"Sam, I don't know what to say" Nick said staring at the young woman who he could see was struggling to hold back tears after her revelation to the clinical lead

"Know one ever does.." Sam said in barley a whisper, obviously this was something that distressed the young woman to such an extent she had told know one bar Dylan if he did know until she was forced to.

"Its just you always seem so on top of everything, you're a brilliant doctor"

"Yeah that's what everyone says, I am not having anyone's pity I made that mistake once with Dylan I am not having it again" Sam said begging to her confidence back as she raised her voice to slightly over what she would usually speak in before she began heading towards the door that lead to the center of the ED. "Oh and do me a favor Nick, don't tell anyone especially not Zoe I don't want anyone to know about this, its my business not theirs" Sam said before quickly leaving the room

"Sam, wait" Nick began before he walked with a pace towards the door in which Sam had just flied from "We are not done talking about this" He shouted towards the running woman who he had realized was not going to let him or anyone else in any time soon

"Yes, we are Nick" She retorted without even turning her head before heading straight into the female toilets which was situated down the corridor from Nick's office

'Great I look like a bloody mess' Sam though as she sighted herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy from the tears that had regretfully left her eye's, the small amount of makeup she wore which consisted only of mascara was now streamed all down her face 'Oh great I just walked thought the ED like this, I don't want pity' She though as she vigorously rubbed her face which greatly helped her runny mascara but did no favors for her red eye's. She left the toilets which she was glad had been abonded during the time she had been there she didn't need everyone watching her.

"You alright Sam, you look awful" Scarlett said as Sam emerged from the place she had spent over twenty minutes in attempting with no avail to improve her appearance

"Oh that's charming Scarlett" Sam said laughing when she saw the young nurse's worried look .

"Sorry Sam I didn't mean it like that" Scarlett said desperately

"Calm down im only joking with you, why do you look so worried"

"Oh ok" Scarlett said as Sam saw the timid nurse relax slightly "So are you ok? It looks like you've been crying"

"No, im fine its just hay fever" Sam said before sneezing for emphasis he wasn't lying she really did have hay fever but it didn't make her eye's water this much especially when she was in doors but she appreciated it when the young nurse didn't seem to notice or failed to bring it up

"Bless you"

"Thanks Scarlet, you coming back to Recus ?"

"Yeah"

"Come on them" Sam said half dragging Scarlett toward the glass doors

"You alright Sam?" Lenny asked in his thick Scottish accent as she entered the room

"Yeah, Im fine" Sam said already sick of people asking her if she was alright, it had been 20 minutes get over it "What we got ?" Sam asked as Dixie and Jeff entered the room

"24 year old male James Dannywood, suspected asthma attack struggling to breath has been for the last hour has got increasingly difficult breathing in the ambulance GCS is 60 and BP 100/40" Dixie said as he and Dixie began pushing a man with a breathing mask covering his face.

"Ok, thanks Jeff" Sam said as she took the patient from the paramedics strong grasp

"You alright princess" Jeff asked looking into the young medics eye's with worry

"Im fine Jeff, its just hay fever" Although she would never admit it she loved the bond she had shared with Jeff and Dixie ever since she had joined holby not so long ago they seemed to adopt her as a surrogate daughter as had she but as parents

"Ok sweetheart, if you need to talk you know where we are" Dixie said as her and Jeff left the patient in the teams capable hands.

"Ok, lift on my count…. 3, 2, 1" Sam instructed as the team lifted the man onto the medical bed. "Ok can I get some oxygen on and get him hocked up to some monitors please?" Sam said as she began looking through the notes all she saw was the moving letters of the alphabet seemingly mocking her, she must've been staring at the notes for longer than she though as she felt Nick lean over her shoulder

"Ok he's asthmatic can we get him a blue pump please thank you" Nick said looking at Sam's eyes which were seeming to fill up with tears for the second time that day "You ok Sam?" he whispered in her ear

"Yeah, im fine" Sam replied sniffling before walking out of the room and heading towards the staff room along with many of her other colleges but for different reasons she had started her shift earlier than her colleuge so her shift had finished earlier. It wasn't fair Sam though Nick could read with such ease it was like him and the words were silently mocking her and she couldn't stand it

"See ya Sam" Zoe said when she saw the young woman shove the containment of her locker into her black backpack

"Bye Zoe" Sam said before leaving the room

Sam was unfamiliar with the route in which she drove home, she had just rented a new flat further away from where she worked this was nothing to do with it being more spacious, it was just further away from where Dylan lived, she couldn't bare to run or even drive past his house every morning she would occasionally see Dervala sitting in the window she didn't realize how much she would miss the daft mutt when she had left she wondered if she missed her more than her owner who seemed to care nothing for his wife estranged or not they were still married.

This was only her second time on this particular route the first had been just this morning, she saw the sigh but all she saw was ywo nae just before she collided with another car coming the opposite way. She should've recognized the colors the black and white.

The sigh had said two vital words which Sam had failed to register

ONE WAY

Hope you enjoyed this please R&R as it makes me happy xx


	3. Chapter 3

Heyyyyyy I would like firstly to say sorry for the lack of updates the busy life of a 14 year old tehe from now on updates will be on a Monday, Friday and either Saturday or Sunday or both dependant on how busy I am tehehe Secondly I'd like to say a massive congratulations to MissRach89 who by the time she reads this will be MrsRach89 Wahoo this updates for you :D xx And also DrSamNicholls1 you know what im going to say peace this updates for you also And everyone else who read and reviewed you guys rock xx

This updates going to be a bit different I hope its not to confusing please tell me if it is or isn't or your general thoughts on this please xx

After the indicial shock of the accident had run its course a man who looked to be around thirty-five years old emerged from his black BMW which under the circumstances had emerged reasonably unscathed considering the clash that had occurred recently with Sam's small Blue KA which was no longer in the man's field of view, the man headed towards the edge of the road which dipped into a small ditch before wiping his forehead of blood which was still running freely down his face.

"Hello, Can you hear me?" The man shouted when he sighted Sam's Blue KA which was barley recognizable due to the impact of the accident and the way in which it had landed after the fall, which was on its rights sigh leaving Sam involuntarily confined in the car.

After getting no response he moved closer to the vehicle in which he saw the young blonde slumped over the hard steering wheel un moving but he could see the slight movement of her breath causing her chest to rise and fall .

"Crap" the man said at seeing her unmoving figure "Its ok, I'll call you an ambulance you'll be fine" the man said before taking his mobile from his front pocket f his navy blue jeans and dialing the emergency services.

"Hello emergency services, which service do you require" A kind female voice on the other end of the line asked the man politely

"Ambulance…. Please" the man replied quickly glancing over at Sam worriedly

"Ok putting you through now" The woman responded before the line went dead as she transferred his call

"Hello, ambulance service, what seam's to be the problem?" A woman with a think thick but soothing welsh accent asked

"There's been an accident there's a woman in her car she's not moving and she's bleeding"

"What is your name sir?"

"Urm, I want to remain anonymous" The man said quickly not wanting to be recognized for all the damage he had done

"Ok Sir that's your choice, what is your location?" the woman asked obviously unfazed by the man's worried attitude obviously in her sort of job she was used to dealing with erratic behavior

"Urm, just off of Dailhurst drive"

"Ok, please stay where you are an ambulance crew will be with you shortly do you feel the need to stay on the line?"

"No its fine, please hurry" The man said before hanging up the phone and shoving it quickly back into his pocket 'Fat chance, im staying put, ive got to get out of here, she will be fine now the ambulance crew are on their way' He thought to himself as if reassuring himself that as help was on the way the woman would be fine despite never knowing if she really would be or not.

A few minutes after the mystery man had left the devastating scene the paramedics had arrived and had quickly surveyed the scene before locating the crushed car.

"Oh god" Dixie said as she saw the car on the side of the road "Jeffrey didn't they say that there was a bystander" the blonde paramedic asked as she stepped carefully down the steep ditch towards the car

"Yeah, a male they said, wanted to remain anonymous" Jeff said as he followed his partner in more way that one towards the car

"Yeah, well where is he?" Dixie asked confused as she surveyed the area searching for the man around the wreckage

"No idea, lets just get to checking over the casualty" Jeff said pushing in front of Dixie and heading towards the car "Do we have an ID on her yet?"

"We don't need an Id Jeff" Dixie said as she stepped into the car trying to get better access to the patient "Its Sam" The experienced paramedic replied worriedly "Sam can you hear me? Its Dixie, can you open your eyes for me swetheart"

"Oh god" was all Jeff could say "How is she?" He questioned

"I don't know she isn't responding but were going to need to cut her out" Dixie said as she slowly lifted Sam's head from the uncomfortable position on the steering wheel and holding her neck against the headrest

"Ok, 006 to control were going to need assistance with releasing a casualty at Dailhurst Drive, over" Jeff said pushing and then releasing his radio to communicate with the team on the other end of the line to prevent any further spinal or neck damage.

"Yeah were going to need a spinal board and collar and something to clean this wound with quickly" Dixie said as Jeff clambered into the vehicle and began to clean the wound's that covered her face and head, which could only be scene due to Sam's blonde hair being clotted with deep red blood

"These wounds aren't clotting" Jeff said worry flashing across his face at seeing his young colleuge in such a state "They need to be stitched as soon as possible or she's going to bleed out!" Jeff said as he began to cover the wounds to prevent further infection

"Yeah, her neck's not looking good either we need to her out, we need to check out her back, her arm it looks like she's landed on her right on same with her leg but both it looks like when the car was hit, it was head on straight into her legs, were going to need a neck brace quickly" Dixie said quietly as Jeff ran towards the ambulance they had arrived in just moments ago

A few seconds later Jeff came running back towards the car and passed Dixie the neck brace to make sure that the young woman's neck stayed still to prevent –further damage being caused. As Dixie quickly and carefully placed the hard brace on the injured blonde's neck before moving away when she spotted the coming Fire truck which would assist the freeing of their young colleuge.

"We have a young woman, who's trapped on the right side of her vehicle both feet have been trapped by the head on collision" Jeff said to the head of the crew who immediately nodded his head at the information he had been given before heading towards the truck to retrieve the necessary equipment to release Sam from her current predicament.

After the roof an the front of the car had been removed with the help of the fire fighters they removed the fragile young woman from the confinement of the small vehicle they quickly laid her flat on the spinal board and pushed her to the awaiting ambulance where Jeff quickly hopped into the front and began driving whilst Dixie began to asses the young woman's condition. She quickly placed a splint on both legs and her right arm due to on assessment they seemed to have sustained sever injuries.

Less than twenty minutes later Jeff and Dixie were back in the ED waiting like many other colleuge were to hear about news of their young college's condition in which they were yet to hear. Dixie still couldn't shake the image of how frozen all of the team had scene when they had entered the entered the room that was still supporting the young woman. Currently sitting quietly in the staffroom was Jeff, Dixie, Scarlet, Lloyd, Linda, Lenny and Tom whilst more experience members of staff who could distance themselves enough from their friendship with the young woman enough to treat her this team which included Nick, Zoe, Tess and Charlie.

"How's Sam?" Jeff asked as Nick entered the room as well as the remainder of the team who also stood at the sight of the clinical lead who had been caring for Sam

"Stable, just battered and bruised few broken bones, the octopods are just accessing her now, she had a suspected fracture of Tib and fib of the right leg fracture of the Left ankle and the cubiod bone in her foot, her right arm has just been manipulated after it was dislocated and her right trapezoid bone in her hand is possible fracture as well as her ulna and radius as well as abrasions, cuts and bruises " Nick replied getting a gasp from the rest of the room at Sam's countless injuries

"Is she awake yet?" Scarlet question shaking Lloyds hand from where it was resting on her shoulder

"Urm, as you could understand she's had quiet a bit of trauma especially to her head, so understandably she's not yet awake"

"Do you know when she's going to wake?" Scarlet asked worry flashing across her face

"Not yet were waiting on some test results to determine if any lasting damage has occurred" Nick said quietly

"What kind of lasting damage?" Tom asked quietly making his presents known in the depths of the room

"Urm memory loss, learning difficulties, speech problems but don't assume yet Sam' strong we all know that we just have to wait to see when she wakes up the extent of her injuries" Nick said quietly noting the worried expressions that were appearing on his colleges faces mirrored exactly what he was feeling inside.

A small cry escaped Scarlet's mouth as Lloyd pulled her in for a passionate embrace before Linda took the emotional young nurse into her arms "Its ok Hunny, Sam's a tough cookie she'll be fine "She whispered into the young woman's ear in an attempt to soothe her even thought she still had thoughts nagging in her mind.

"Your right Linda what would Sam say if she could see you now crying over something that's not even set in stone?" Nick asked causing attention to flicker from Scarlet back to Nick who stood at the opposite side of the room

"That we were a bunch of crybaby's and some other things, which I am not repeating" Lenny laughed as he remembered how determined his fellow doctor was to have as little attention on her as possible unlike his fellow colleges in the department

"Exactly, has anyone called Sam's next of kin?" Nick asked scanning around the room to locate Noel who was the most likely person who would've tracked down Sam's application for a secondment, which contained her Next of kin details.

"Not yet I think Noel was waiting till they had more information on her case" Linda's liverpudlian accent echoed thought Nicks ears

"Ok, im going to inform them now" Nick said leaving the room and heading towards the reception area to find the chirpy receptionist who would help to find his injured college's emergency contact number "Noel, do you have Sam's file?"

"Yes, I had it ready when I found out, how is she by the way?" Noel said obviously feeling as emotional as the rest of the department despite him having little a relationship with her

"She's stable, I just need to get in contact with a next of kin you know just in case" Nick said looking in Sam's folder. He dialed the number quickly and put the receiver to his ear "Hello this is Nick Jordan from Holby City Emergency Department, your listed as next of kin to Dr Samantha Nicholls, she's been in an accident" He began as he stopped listening to what was being asked of him on the other end of the phone call "yes, yes, no she's stable at the moment but we would appreciate it if you could come as quick as possible. Ok thank you see you soon, goodbye" Nick said hanging up the phone quickly

"Who was that?" Noel questioned

"Don't know she didn't say and theirs no name must be a close friend apparently she had little family to speak off" Nick said before realizing he had probably said more about Sam's past than she would ever want him to so he quickly retreated towards Sam's bay in Recus

"Nick, what's going on? Said a gruff voice behind him "I got a call from Tom saying that I needed to get here quickly" Dylan said with an equal amount of worry and also annoyance at being pulled in from his long walk with Dervala which both parties were enjoying equally as much .

Nick turned to glare at Tom who was standing a mere meter away from the pair looking guilty at the fault of being the one who had to break the news to the injured woman's estranged and distance husband.

"Sorry, I thought he deserved to know he was going to find out eventually so I thought it was better that it can from a friend" Tom said looking at both Dylan and Nick "Well bye" Tom said quickly walking away already feeling the tension building between the two medical professionals

"Know what? Nick tell me!" Dylan said angry at being kept in the dark from something everyone was talking about which usually involved him and Sam's marriage secret which no one seemed to have gotten over since the ED fire over 6 months ago!

"Dylan, its Sam she's been in an accident" Nick said quietly hating that this job always fell to him to conduct.

Who's the mystery man? Who is the mystery person on the end of the phone? How will Dylan react to the news? Will Sam be ok? All will be revealed soon so please R&R as it makes me happy xx


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks guys for all the lovely reviews ive been receiving your too kind ;) Please I do hope you continue with your ongoing support as it does made me very happy. Also im really sorry for the late update ive been extremely busy it would have been up last night but I had a bit of an incident with a speaker and glass candle so now I have loads of cuts over my head 'cause im smart like that lool ;)xx

"What's she gone and done to herself this time, I swear she just loves to see me sweat" Dylan said dismissively at his estranged wives erratic behavior and the fact he felt she loved to see him sweat in which he had got used to since Sam's posting to Afghanistan in the early days of her first tour in 2009.

"Dylan, urm it's a little complicated, lets go and have a talk in my office" Nick said as he began to head towards his office until he realized Dylan wasn't following him but had instead decided to head straight into recus where Sam lay propped up on the pillows with her eyes tightly closed, it would've been very easy to think she was just sleeping from looking into the room from a far as bar a few lacerations and the bruises that were beginning to form she looked like the normal Sam.

"Samantha Nicholls you just love to see me sweat don't you" Dylan shouted upon entering the room which had been dimmed due to the late hour and lack of patients which was not unusual considering it was a week day when not many accidents happened due to fewer people venturing out due to work and school being the day after. "What happened to her?" Dylan said sensing Nick's presents behind him and realizing he didn't even know what had happened to his wife.

"Car accident, she seemed to go down a one way road, the police read her records and said it was probably as she couldn't read it" Nick said struggling to look at the young doctors face in front of him "She told me Dylan" At seeing the medics face turn to him confused he elaborated "About her Dyslexia" He said sadness visible in his voice about what the young woman had been struggling with supposedly in silence for years alone.

"Ah, she must trust you then" Dylan replied quietly "Don't betray her trust Nick, she'll never trust you again, believe me I know" Dylan said quietly not taking his eyes off of the young woman who laid completely unaware of what was happening around her.

"I wont betray her trust Dylan I don't even think she wanted to tell me to be honest I just think she wanted to get me off her back, but I am glad she told me I guess I would've eventually found out maybe even later that day" As Dylan seemed not to understand the situation Nick had found himself in earlier with the young woman in recus earlier when she struggled to read something that for someone of her intellectual ability should've been simple "She didn't seem to be able to read some notes, she was fine though just needed a push" He continued as he saw Dylan's horrified expression.

"No-one knows do they? Sam would go ballistic if she found out, more people knew trust me when people at the old hospital found out she never came back again after that shift" Dylan said lost in his thoughts as he slapped his hand over his mouth in shock "Oh God, did I just say that aloud?" Dylan said disappointed with himself at sharing his wives secret once again.

"What, how did they find out?" Nick said curiously as he realized how similar the man and wife were both with their need to protect each other but also each others personal feelings they had shared whilst they were in a committed relationship not so long ago.

"I didn't mean too, it was at my lowest point, you've got to understand that, I would never betray her like that ever again" Dylan cried Nick couldn't tell if he was trying to convince him or himself.

"What happened Dylan? Let me in, I wont judge" Nick said sympathetically

"Fine, just not here, I cant see her like this let alone tell anyone about her past without her consent, I don't even think she'd give me permission, I don't know if I should tell you Nick" Dylan said reluctantly

"Let me in Dylan for both your sakes, you need someone to confide in and you know it" Nick said attempting to temp the Doctor to part with the bits of his past he was most ashamed of. He began to steer Dylan in the direction of his office as he got a quick nod from Dylan accepting that he needed someone to talk to. En route to his office he ignored the various staff members who were concerned about their young college's health with good reason, he was worried if he turned away from Dylan for two seconds he would loss the medics trust.

"Ok Dylan, start at the beginning" Nick said as the two medics sat face to face in his joint office in which he occasionally shared with Zoe but he was thankful she hadn't been in the office as he knew Dylan would have enough trouble parting with his feelings to just him let alone with Zoe listening in too.

"Ok, so it was when Sam was in her final F1 placement she was so talented, the youngest in her year she was just 21 she had her birthday whilst on her rotation with me as a matter of fact, On her birthday everyone went to the local pub for a drink to celebrate, she persuaded me to tag along so I did, that was the night we first got together" Nick said smiling at the memory of the beautiful Blue dress his Samantha was wearing that was the only time he saw her wearing a dress he truly did think it looked stunning but Sam failed to see it, he remembered the huge smile she had given him when he had handed her the glistening Silver necklace he had given her, he hadn't seen it wear it since their split although whilst they was together it had been worn every day without a fail. "We got together after that night in secret but then one of our nosy colleges found out I wish I knew who or how but I don't" He sighed at Sam's face when the clinical lead had scolded her on her carless attitude towards her studies and her future, he remembered the leads words to him as he was called in a few moments later "Dr Keyo, how could you be so foolish she's just a kid, a vulnerable child, she's been through a lot Dylan in her life a hell of a lot, don't put your name in the firing line" He said the words sent shivers down his spine he couldn't lose his job it was his livelihood, his life. "From that moment we had got closer and closer until Sam had moved to a permanent residence in my boat with me and Dervala, we were happy she told me her darkest secrets, and I told her mine, we completely trusted each other with our lives, we were in Love, A while later we married in secret with only closest family present which was only mine and some of Sam's friends, but then….." Dylan looked back to Nick to see he was watching him eagerly willing him to continue. "I noticed she was having trouble with her reading, writing and her memory there was no doubt she was a brilliant doctor, amazingly smart no-one could doubt that, but I noticed the sighs and got her tested, it completely devastated her when she was diagnosed, she began to slip into old habits, habits she was struggling to control" He said quietly

"What was the habit, Dylan?" Nick asked quietly

"She Urm began to self-harm" He said in barley a whisper

"Oh God, Urm continue with the story" Nick said not sure what to think of Dylan's revelation as would anyone in the current situation but he also wanted to help Dylan by getting his emotions out.

"Ok" Dylan replied obviously struggling to talk about his and Sam's shared past "A complaint was made against me and the GMC chose to pursue it, I began to drink" Dylan continued regret present in his voice. "I wasn't there when she needed me, she stopped on her own, the self-harming I mean but she was struggling with her Dyslexia and I couldn't see it "He cried "One day, I had a horrific hangover, Sam made a wrong diagnosis, it was an accident I knew it was she got confused with Hyperthermia and hypothermia its an easy mistake to make, I got annoyed I shouted at her I called her a stupid, thick Dyslexic, in front of the whole department" Dylan whispered looking at Nick's horrified expression "I know it was stupid, she ran out of the department crying, I left at the end of my shift, turns out she had been ordered to the Helmand's, the first time I heard from her afterwards it was from her Sergeant saying she had been sent to the UK on medical grounds no other information was given she still hadn't removed me from her next of kin, I don't think she realized she had no-one else I am aware of she grew up in care you see, quiet a difficult childhood, her parents would always drink I didn't realize her past and how much I was re-surfacing it again"

"Oh Dylan, how could you do that to her, you knew how fragile she was, you knew and you just pushed her and pushed her, she trusted you and you betrayed her, how could you?" Nick questioned struggling to hold his temper at the man who had cause such an amazing young woman so much harm.

"I didn't mean too, I never touched alcohol again it was too late though, I was so sorry but she chose not to stay in touch I respected her decision that was until she joined here I don't know if she knew about me working here, but I think se came here for a reason whether she was aware of it or not!"

"Maybe" Nick said "But Dyl…" Nick was cut off by a knock at the door "Come in" He said slightly annoyed at being disturbed as he was finally getting somewhere with his emotionally detached colleuge.

"Sorry to disturb" Noel said apologetically "But Sam's next of kin has just arrived should I send her up or?" The unusually glum receptionist asked

"No its fine ill come down and see her, we'll talk later Dylan ok?" Nick asked

"No its fine, ive said to much already" Dylan said stalking out of the office quickly avoiding the gaze of both Nick and Noel as he did so as he went straight to reception egger to catch a glimpse of Sam's mystery next of kin

"Hello, im Nick Jordan, clinical lead" Nick began shaking the woman's hand as she let go of the pushchair handle she was holding onto "And you are?" Nick asked also egger to know who the mystery woman was.

"Im Lacey-Mae, Sam's older sister" The woman who now had identified herself said

"And who's this Little en' then" Nick said cooing over the young baby in the carrier knowing that bringing up the young woman's diagnosis with her sister was not going to be easy and he should try to lighten the mood.

"This is Mya-Beca Sam's daughter" Lacy said as a suspicious expression crossed her face "Didn't ever she tell you?" She asked as a horrified look crossed her face at her little sister no matter how secretive she was had failed to mentioning her young child but her expression was not even half as bad as Dylan's looked as Nick saw him lurking in the corner Jaw open in shock which inside despite Nick's calm exterior he was feeling on the inside.

I hope you like a bit more has been reveled in this chapter I hope you enjoyed please R&R as it makes me happy :D xx


	5. Chapter 5

Heyy, im really sory I haven't updated in a while, I have had a bit of writers block so apologies if this is no good, please let me know. I should be updating more often now as im off school for a while YAY :D

This update is for Abby who is not particularly well at the moment, I hope you feel better soon 3

This chapter will be told from Nick and Tess's point of view, Nick's POV is in regular and Tess's POV will be in bold. If its too confusing just let me know

Oh and completely ignore my dogey time line im saying that Sam's first tour of duty was 2007 and her second was 2008 where she found out she was pregnant.

Brooke xx

"Yeah, she would totally mention her sister" Dylan said sourly putting air quotes around the word sister obviously in disbelief that the woman even thought she had the right to be called a sister. "Who she hasn't scene in 5 years, wouldn't she?" He continued anger present in his usually emotionless tone.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Lacy-Mae retorted ignoring Dylan's earlier statement, but Nick could also sense hurt in the woman's voice obviously the complexities of Sam's life, both before, during and after Dylan were out of his comfort zone.

"I work here, what the hell made you come here? " Dylan replied bluntly, oblivious or just ignoring the hurt in the woman's face , Nick couldn't tell if the older man was just being spiteful or genuinely didn't care.

"Im here to see my sister! You know you're wife? Or have you forgotten about her already, moved onto someone new?" She shouted, causing most members of the ED stop in their tracks, outburst were common in the ED but due to the worry in the department, patients and their relatives alike seemed to be calm sensing the aura in the department, so for an outburst like this to occur especially considering Sam was known to have little family if any, was quiet uncommon.

"And whats that supposed to mean?" He shouted causing even more attention to be shifted towards the arguing pair as the usually nonchalant Dylan was known for his calm attitude so this was wildly out of character.

"You know full well what I mean, you'll jump into bed with anyone!" The woman yelled

"Excuse me!"

"You make me sick Dylan"

"You slept with me Lucy, don't be a bloody hypocrite, its not like I made you do it, did I?"

"Excuse me, but would Sam really like to know you're airing her past in public" Nick said hushing the bickering pair. "Everyone back to work, please" Nick shouted to the rest of the department who had stopped in their tracks and were staring at the threesome. Nicks shout echoed around the department which satisfied the staff enough that nick would let no more drama happen, well in public anyway, so many of the class went back to their daily duties.

"Sister Baitmen you look after this little one please?" Nick asked the elder clinical Nurse manager.

"Sure, what's her name?" Tess asked Lucy who was still glairing at Dylan.

"Urm, Mya-Becca I think, well that's what the child minder told me I think" Lucy mumbled not taking her eyes off of Dylan the whole time.

"You don't even know your step-nieces name, how pathetic" Dylan said sourly.

"It's the first time ive met. You didn't even know you had a daughter, let alone her name" Lucy retorted

"Urm ok im going to take this little one to the staff room " Tess said obviously feeling awkward in the current situation as was Nick "Call if you need anything" She whispered into Nicks ear.

"Thanks Tess" Nick responded

"She's mine, she's my daugh… She's my daughter?" Dylan asked obviously shocked, that first of all Sam had a daughter, secondly she kept it a secret and thirdly he had a daughter he never knew about!

"Who else would she have a child with, you stupid man"

"Can we discuss this in private?" Nick asked as he began to push the glairing pair towards his office where they would be in private, but also so he could get to the bottom of the quickly escalating argument. "Take a seat" Nick said to Lucy as they entered, it seemed Dylan had already made his self at home and sat in the chair nearest to the door as though he was ready to make a break for it if he had too.

Nick to a seat on the front of his desk as he often did when speaking to staff as he felt like Noel that a desk puts a barrier between them "Ok so start at the beginning, what's going on?"

**Tess POV**

"_**Hello, little one" Tess said to the young child, she still felt uncomfortable with calling her Mya-Becca just in case it wasn't her name, Lucy didn't seem to sure, the child was awake and looked to be about four years old. Most four year olds know their own name, right? It would be smart to just ask her, wouldn't it? Tess asked herself "I'm Tess, I'm your mummy's friend, what's you're name?" She asked the little girl who just started at Tess looking confused. Realizing that the young girl was not going to answer, Tess decided she better do some digging in her bag with was hanging on the back of the buggy. Isn't she a bit old for a buggy? Tess didn't think Sam would prolong the need for a pushchair, but then again she didn't picture Sam and a mum either, or married to Dylan. The Nurse realized how little she knew of her young colleuge. She reached into the bag and turned the cover of revealing the name label.**_

_**Mya-Becca Nicholls **_

_**26/04/2008**_

_**Trinity specialist school**_

_**Hard of hearing**_

_**Emergency contact number: Major/Dr Samantha-Faye Nicholls(Mother)**_

_**07413216731**_

_**Address: 48 Sweethurst Drive, Bristol Rm4 6RJ**_

_**Oh, so she was hard of hearing, that explains a lot it must be really hard for Sam. She worked in a busy Emergency Department all day, went home and cared for a child who needed more care than a regular child would, but she still always seemed to be so put together, well before this week when she seemed to be a wreck! Tess thought to herself.**_

"_**Hello" She mouthed to Mya, whilst waving which got a smile in return. "Are you ok?" She mouthed slowly again not just due to her hearing problems but also due to her young age. Mya began moving and making shapes with her hands obviously she had been taught sign language, and for such a young age Tess had to be impressed she was obviously a smart cookie just like her mother. She regretfully didn't know sign language but she knew someone who did. "Big Mac" She shouted out of the door.**_

"_**Aye, yes Tess, what can I do for you?" He asked in his strong welsh accent**_

"_**Am I correct in thinking you speak sign?" Tess asked vaguely remembering him speaking to a young patient who was also unable to communicate as easy as others.**_

"**You would be indeed, why are my services required?" He chuckled **

"**They are indeed" Tess laughed at he typically 'blocky' man who seemed to have so many skills but after leaving the army, chose not to pursue them further. "This is Mya-Becca she's hard of hearing, but you see….."**

"**You don't speak sign…." Mac finished **

"**Yeah, exactly I just need to see if she's ok or not. Can you ask her for me and can you tell her my name is Tess and I will look after her" Tess asked worried about how the young girl was feeling being with a bunch of strangers, that's hard enough let alone without being able to hear them.**

"**Yeah, course" Big Mac said as he began to move his hands quickly, which got Mya's attention immediately. Tess was stunned at how difficult sign looked and how easy the porter seemed to find it. The blonde haired child- who was the spitting image of her mother signed back slower than Big Mac but still at a quick pace.**

"**She's fine" Big Mac said when Becca had finished.**

"**That's a good thing at least" Tess said smiling.**

"**But she wants her mum, she wants Sam" **

**Tess's face dropped as she realized that in her current unconscious state it would not be smart to show a her vulnerable child to her. The one thing that Becca wanted Tess could not give, and she felt the guiltiest she had ever felt as she saw the girls face drop after being told she couldn't see the person she was closest too.**

Nick's POV

"So, what exactly happened down there?" Nick asked

"I only came here to drop the kid and see if Samantha was ok, but I had some loonie stop me seeing my sister" Lucy said giving Dylan the dirtiest look Nick had scene in a long time bar the look Dylan always seemed to give Sam.

"Some loonie, Some loonie!, I'm her husband" Dylan shouted, Finally where getting somewhere Nick thought as the pair began shouting to get their point across.

"Legally, or so ive heard!"

"I will always be Sam's husband, legally or not. But you will never be here sister legally or not, you have never been her sister!"

"I was her sister when my parents fostered her, and I still am now"

"Do you really think Sam thinks' that? No! She don't she hasn't" Dylan shouted spitefully

"She should've divorced you're sorry butt along time ago!"

"You were the one who kissed me! It was you're fault my marriage ended!"

"You took it further, I didn't pressure you, she forgave you, she never forgave me and then you messed it up for her again and made her put her life in danger once again, because of you're stupid drink"

"I took it further, if you say so" Dylan said sarcastically

"Eww, why would I take it further, with you, I don't know what my sister ever saw in you"

"Ditto to you there, Sam saw someone who loves her, something she had rarely scene in her life!"

"You said love's here, Dylan" Nick said as a smile spread across his face at the thought of the medic still loving the young woman.

"Yeah, I guess I still love her" Dylan responded

"To bad I bet the feeling isn't mutual" Lucy laughed spitefully "Now, as much as I'd like to see this train wreck unfold I have a life to be getting on with, tell Samantha I said good recovery" Lucy said before leaving the room and heading quickly out the department.

"She's delightful, isn't she?" Nick laughed at the woman who had caused an argument and ended it just as quick, as it had started.

"Yeah, she's a ray of sunshine" Dylan replied raising his eyebrows

*Bleep, Bleep* Went Nick's pager

"Its Sam she's waking up!" Nick said before running towards the door followed closely behind, intendant on asking Sam's some very important questions!

"Sam, Sam can you hear me?" Nick asked worriedly as he entered the room, he found the woman shouting out and hitting the side of the metal rimmed bed. "Calm down" Sam seemed to calm down as she heard the soothing voice. "Do you know where you are?"

"Urm, Holby?" Sam asked croakily "What happened?"

"You were in a car accident, how are you feeling?"

"Got a headache, why is everything so heavy, wait a car accident!"

"You've got a few breaks and fractures, so you have a few cast's don't worry you'll be right as rain soon."

"Oh ok"

"Right im going to ask a few questions, ok?"

"Whatever"

"What is you're date of birth?"

"12th of August 1989"

"What is you're full name?"

"Which one? Ive got Dr Sam Nicholls, Dr Samantha Nicholls, Dr Samantha-Faye Nicholls, Dr Sam Keyo, Dr Samantha Keyo, Dr Samantha-Faye Keyo, Major Nicholls, Major Keyo, need I continue?" Sam laughed at her long list of names she had acquired over the years.

"That's fine Sam, you seem to be fine, I'll be back to see how you are later."

"What I have to stay here?" Sam whined

"Yes, you do you silly woman you were in a car accident so yes you do have to stay in" Dylan replied

"Oh Dylan" Sam said coldly

"Yeah, its me, I have a question to ask you, why didn't you ever tell me I had a daughter?" Dylan watched as he saw Sam's face drop at her biggest secret becoming public!

Hope ya liked this Please R&R xx


	6. Chapter 6

Heyy, I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who read, reviewed and story/author alerted. It really does mean a lot, you have no idea haha. Please carry on you're amazing reviews :D

"Where is she, where's Mya?" Sam said quickly sitting up before being pushed back down by Dylan as she winced in pain.

"She's with Tess, she's fine" Dylan replied calmly, but still looking at his wife with worry. Estranged or not he still loved his wife dearly, even if she didn't know it.

"I have to see her, where is she?" Sam asked panicking as she sat up again but faster, ignoring the pain in her head as she did so. She swung her legs in which her right leg had been pinned into place and was being held by a metal splint, whilst her left was casted from her upper shin to the start of her toe's. She obviously had been oblivious to the weights that were resting on her legs willing the to heal. Sam placed both feet on the floor and instantly regretted it as the metal split made it impossible to straighten her knee which was the key to being able to stand. The cast on the other hand did not work well with glass slates as she immediately lost her balance only to be caught by Dylan who was automatically by her side. Her quickly and effortlessly lifted the young woman back onto the bed.

"What the hell are you doing, you've been in a coma for over a week , you cant just stand up and go home, you silly woman."

"But, I have to see Mya, she needs help. Wait a week, what the hell Dylan, who's been looking after my baby?" Sam asked, making another attempt at making a break for it, but realizing it was out of the question, partly as putting pressure on her legs was not the best thing to do, but also due to the glare she had been given by Dylan in every attempt.

"Everyone looked after her, I think Tom looked after her on Monday and Friday, Linda looked after her Tuesday, Big Mac looked after her Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday, Scarlett looked after her Sunday, Lenny looked after her on Monday, Nick looked after her Tuesday…. And Zoe looked after her Wednesday and Tess has been looking after her during the day with Big Mac" Dylan said raising his eyebrows at Big Mac's nickname you could tell that he clearly disapproved of the man.

"What even Nick and wait, Zoe?" Sam asked obviously shocked, as the medics seemed to clash over opinions on a daily basses as they had just a few days ago.

"Yeah, everyone did their part"

"Apart from you" Sam said under her breath

"I didn't think it was appropriate"

"Appropriate, what the hell Dylan, she's you're daughter, she's our daughter"

"So she is my… my…. my" Dylan stammered

"You're daughter? Yes, she is your's who else's would she be?"

"How would I know what happened in Afghanistan? You were gone a long time, we hadn't spoken, you hadn't got in touch, what was I supposed to think." Dylan said quietly obviously embarrassed at his own insecurities.

"Dylan, how could you think I would do something like that?" Sam shouted in disbelief at how little her husband thought of her "You were the one who had an affair and with my own sister!" She shouted.

"Samant…" Dylan began.

"Don't Samantha me Dylan, You were the end of us and don't even try to deny it, even if I had sought comfort in another mans arms, which I didn't for the record, could you have blamed me?"

"You mean you didn't have an affair, the child is mine?"

"The child's name is Mya, and yes Dylan. She is yours."

"Oh, why did you keep her a secret Samantha?"

"I had to"

"But why?" Dylan asked infuriated at his wives' riddles, he asked her a question and she couldn't even answer something as simple as that.

"Because I knew how you react!" She shouted

"What? Sam, sometimes I really don't understand you."

"You did exactly what I thought you would "Sam said, she was obviously upset that the assumption she had made was true, even though she knew it would. Dylan just stood there looking confused so she elaborated "You ignored her, well and truly. You didn't even bovver to remember her name!" Sam exasperated.

"You know im rubbish with names"

"I don't care how bloody bad you are with names, she's you're daughter"

"Fine, im sorry I'll remember Mia's name" Dylan replied nonchalantly

"Its Mya, not Mia!"

"Sorry!"

"D'ya know what I cant be asked to carry on this conversation, I just want to see Mya" Sam said before quickly pulling the IV drip from her right hand grabbing the nearest set of crutches to her bed ignoring the strain that was being put on herself.

"Sam, don't be stupid, sit back down" Dylan pleaded.

"Don't call me stupid Dylan, seriously! You may not have a parental bone in your body but I most certainly do!"

"Sorry, sorry" Dylan said running his hands through his hair partly in worry but mainly due to how stupid he was feeling, as he kept saying the wrong thing, he wasn't sure if Sam wanted him to be part of his child's life or if in fact he wanted to be included. "If you want to see Mya let me bring her to you."

"No, no im fine to get her myself" Sam said stubbornly, obviously not wanting to lose the little independence she had left.

"Fine, but at least let me help" Dylan said grabbing the wheelchair near the bed and pushing it towards her.

"Whatever, just let me see my daughter." Sam said before jumping into the chair although she protested to Dylan pushing her he took little notice which Sam was kind of glad as with her injured it made it extremely painful to perform the task. They quickly headed towards the staffroom where Tess was waiting with Mya and the rest of the ED staff…

Sorry this update is fairly short, I wanted the next chapter to be separate, please R&R whatever ya want to say, anything I don't mind

Also pleas if ya maybe quiet possible want to, ive put up a new story called 'In the shadows' I would love it if ya could take a look

Till the next time xx


	7. Chapter 7

Hiiiii, its me again haha, thank you for all the lovely reviews they've really made me smile A especially big shout out Kasey for being so lovely- your amazing!:)xx

"Sam your awake!" Linda shouted as Sam entered the room, it made her head bang even more than it was in the first place.

"It would seem so, where's Mya?" Sam replied scanning around the room, she could see most members of the ED staff all looking at her worriedly.

"Its ok, Big Mac and Tom took her for a walk, to get her asleep, she's been a bit restless since your accident. Must miss her Mummy" Tess replied seeing the young woman's face relax at knowing her daughter was safe.

"Urm, yeah she must've" Sam replied looking awkwardly around the room, realizing everyone's eyes were on her.

"How are you?" Scarlet asked quietly making her presence known in the room by coming closer to Sam.

"Urm yeah, fine thanks Scarlet" She replied awkwardly.

"Why didn't you tell us, you know about Mya?" Linda asked, as outright as ever, she wasn't waiting around.

"You wasn't the only one, who she should've told." Dylan muttered under his breath but it was loud enough for Sam to hear but she decided to ignore it after all he had a right to be angry she did keep his child a secret from him.

Sam rubbed her head obviously in pain, although she tried to hide her pain, with a room full of medical professionals it wasn't difficult to spot.

"Headache?" Nick asked his fatherly worry flashing over his face once more.

"No, no, no im fine!" Sam protested hating all eyes being on her.

"Come on back to bed" Nick said before pushing the wheelchair which contained a protesting Sam back towards her room, left the rest of the staff following after them egger to see if their colleuge was ok.

"Come on little miss, back into bed!" Nick said lifting her up before placing her carefully on the bed. "You sure your feeling alright?"

"Yeah, just my heads pounding!" Sam said her eyes beginning to droop.

"Sam, open your eyes for me!" Nick said worriedly grabbing his torch.

"Can I get some help in here please?" Nick shouted to which Zoe, Tess, Scarlet, Linda and Dylan followed.

"Sam, can you hear me?"

"Hmm, so sleepy!" Sam said slurring her words slightly.

"Keep your eyes open" Nick said but upon no reply he pulled her eyelids open peering into her deep blue eye's with his torch "Pupils are fixed and dilated, can we get a line in and hook her up to an ECG machine please?" He said as Scarlet took care of his demands.

"Ok, can we get some saline in hook her up to the monitors quick as you can!"

The were all stopped in their track by a loud prolonged beep. As Sam's heart stopped beating. Nick quickly began CRP by pushing deep into the young woman's chest but upon failing to restart it he called for the assistance of a defibrillator.

"Charge to 150, all clear. Shocking!" Nick said before shocking he young medics chest in a desperate attempt to re-start her heart. "Charge again"

After 45 minutes off this routine, Nick muttered the words they had all been dreading. "Are we all agreed?" He asked the group who all nodded solemnly knowing they were only dragging out their friends pain.

"Time of death 3:24PM" Nick said a tear slipping down his cheek at losing someone who was not only a dear colleuge but also a surrogate daughter.

Scarlet ran out off Recus crying as Linda ran to comfort her, they were all fairly close to Sam and her death even in the first few moments of her death felt the lose in the room.

Dylan however just stood fixed on the spot, as he realized what he had been left with. A child!

"Dylan im so sorry but there was nothing we could do, she had an undetectable bleed to the brain. There was no chance, we are all feeling Sam's loss, I understand what your feeling" Nick said struggling to hold back tears.

"Have you just lost your wife? Have you just been left with a child you never knew you had let alone met her? Then don't think you understand what the hell I'm going through right now Nick!" Dylan shouted before fleeing the room.

I know this chapters short, but I couldn't find anything else to put in as I wanted to do her funeral separately. Hope know one (Abbey) hates me.

R&R if ya wanna as they do make me smile.

Brooke-Marie xxx


	8. Chapter 8

Hi I wan to say a massive thankyou to everyone who reviewed! People seem slightly angry at me for killing Sam off! Sorry I had to. Especially big thank you's to Hermioe Lumos, Samantha-Jude1997, MusicMeansEverything, Kascey, and .11. Super big thanyou's go to EmmaCandlerxxx and Abbe who both decided it would be fun to threaten to hunt me down haha, you do make me laugh haha. Love ya guys xxx

This is set 6 days after Sam's death at her funeral, like I said im really sorry! :'(

The church was filled with people in black clothes holding back tears, some were successful some were not but no-one could blame them for their colleuge was laid in a box, breathing no longer.

As the heavy oak doors creaked open the majority of the church which was filled to the brink, with friends and close colleuge from both the army and the ED, many rose to their feet. Her coffin had a camouflaged pattern which had been chosen by a close colleuge who had flew home from Afghan along with various others who were close to Sam.

Her coffin was carried by Tom who was the front left barer, Lenny was the middle left barer, Nick, stood the back of the coffin on the left. Jeff stood in as the front right barer, Lloyd stood as the middle right barrier, and Dylan stood opposite to Nick as the back right barer. All of which were struggling to hold back tears. They carried the box containing the young woman to the centre of the church and place it down of a podium before taking there seats ready for the ceremony.

"We ready to proceed?" The priest questioned, in which he got a nod from the church." Ok. In the view of our loved one Major Samantha Nicholls's passing, we feel it appropriate to speak memories in which we spent with the deceased. Fist we have Nurse Scarlet Conaway, to speak of her friendship."

"Sam wasn't just a friend, she was like family to me. She was so passionate, she was always putting herself in danger if it meant someone else was out of it!" Scarlet began tearfully, looking around the church in which the service was taking place.

"Defiantly Sam!" Lenny laughed knowing one of Sam's key character traits which was acting out of passion much like himself.

"I remember when she was so brave, and heroic even if she didn't try, she was a hero, not only to herself, but her country and everyone else who had the good fortune to meet her, including me. She's left behind many people who a deeply saddened by her loss, including a young daughter Mya-Becca who nobody knew she had, I wish she hadn't have been so secretive, but then she would've of been the Sam we loved. Our Sam. Rest in piece Sam, we'll look after your little girl, trust me!" Scarlet promised wiping tears from her eyes before taking her seat next to Lloyd and burrowing her head into his shoulder as he place his arm around her shoulder as though to protect her from the loss of her friend.

"Next we hear a jointed speech from Jeff and Dixie Collier, friends of the recently diseased." The priest said rising then returning to his seat to listen to the paramedics speak of their memories of Sam.

"Sam, well where can we start?" Dixie asked rhetorically getting a few half-hearted laughs from the mourning people who sat watching them.

"She was always so happy! She would put herself into danger just to save a patient whether friend or foe, she didn't care, just as long as they were alright, she would help them." Jeff continued from his wife.

"I remember on her first day, well the day before her first day she came into the ED, and ended up coming on a shift with me and Jeffrey in the ambulance, wow that was an eventful day!" She laughed as she recollected the events of that day. "When the mad man ran us off the road, she just kicked the door which was bolted, then persuaded the police to let us use their police car which then meant the survival of our patient." Dixie said fresh tears brimming in her eyes as she spoke about her passed colleuge.

"Sleep tight princess!" Jeff said sadly before stepping down from the podium guiding Dixie as he did so.

"Goodbye sweetheart!" Dixie said before she let Jeff guide her away from the young woman's camouflaged coffin.

"Now we have a speech from Mr Nick Jordan to remind us of the deseeded." The priest said before guiding the clinical lead to the center of the church.

"Dr Nicholls, Sam. She was like my daughter, she always used to get in trouble, a few days before she urm passed, she came into my office and automatically assumed she was in trouble, which she wasn't!" He laughed to himself but the church joined in knowing what Sam was like. "She was a lovely young woman, brave, confident, enthusiastic and till the day she died was self-reliant, and for that she will always be remembered." He finished looking around the church then to Sam's coffin which held her frail body." Sleep tight Sam."

" Now Corporal Ian Dean, to say a few words." The priest said before a man in a military uniform with a beret cramped onto his dark black hair.

"Me and Major Nicholls, served in Afghanistan together for three tours." He began formally, the church concluded they had either not been extremely close or chose out of respect to use her army title, despite her death not occurring in a deployed country. "She was what we called a selfless person, first in to the enemy lines and last out, which was especially dangerous due to the increased chance of a second wave bombing. In my eyes Sam wasn't just a hero to me, she was a hero to many including her country, and herself, and for that I salute her!" He said standing down from the podium heading to his college's coffin removing his beret and saluting her before taking his seat next to several other Army personnel in the near back row.

"And for our final speaker we have Dr Dylan Keogh husband of the deceased who would like to say a few words in memory of the one lost."

"Sam, all I can think of is stubborn as hell." He laughed as did many of the people in the room. "We used to go to the beach in Brighton, her favorite was fish and chips, she always used to get annoyed at me because I put to much vinegar on the chips" He chuckled to himself. "I remember one time, it was in the Winter. Sam made me go into the sea, well more like pushed me into the sea" He said trying to hold back tears.

"That sounds like Sam." Linda muttered half laughing half crying.

"It got late, we were the only ones at the beach as we had been the whole day, she laid on my shoulder and fell asleep, I carried her to the car, but never in my worst nightmare did I imagine that today I would have to carry her in a coffin!" He said unable to hold back the tears any longer, "When she came back from Afghanistan I should've been happy, I should've accepted her so she could've told me I was a Dad, but know! I was to flippin' ignorant. I never got to tell her I loved her" He aid bursting into unstoppable sobs he went to the podium where Sam's coffin laid and kissed it, "Sleep well my love!" He said quietly laying a single rose on top, and returning back to his seat having Linda's arms flung around him as a sign of comfort.

"Now we must bid farewell to one that has been lost." The priest said before all who were carrying Sam's coffin rose to take their familiar places before placing her light coffin onto their shoulders before walking towards the burial ground where their friend would be left. The men carefully lowered the coffin into the prepared hole before taking a step back, to be in line with the rest of the mourners.

"We now place the dirt in which our sister Samantha and us came from many years ago, as we hand her back to the earth to entrust her with the safety of our lord Jesus Christ." The priest handed and handful of dirt to Dylan who then scattered it onto his wives coffin which laid lonely in the ground. Tears slipped even heavily out of his eyes as he said his final goodbyes to the woman he loved.

"In the midst of the life with are in death.

Earth to earth,

ashes to ashes,

dust to dust,

Amen"

"Dylan im so sorry!" Zoe said coming up behind him and giving him a hug "I speak for the whole department when I say how sorry we are!" Zoe said beginning to cry herself.

"What am I going to do Zoe?" Dylan cried softly.

"You'll figure it out, but in the mean time you cant give up."

"Why? I just want to be with Sam!"

"Remember you have Mya to look after now, she's your and Sam's daughter, Sam wouldn't like to know you just left her daughter alone, now would she?"

"No. I just want Sam back."

"There you go then, if you meet Mya she's just like Sam. Sam will live on in your memory and through Becca. We will all support you but from not own Mya is your legal responsibility do by her what Sam would. For Sam.

In her gravestone it read:

Samantha Nicholls

27th June 1980- 23rd August 2012.

Beloved Mother, Wife and friend.

Lost but never forgotten!

_**Hope you liked this story as its now over haha. I just want to put it out there that I have never actually attended a funeral so this is probably not what happens, but never mind haha.**_

_**So if ya want you can R&R and tell me what ya think. I don't mind :P **_

_**If your bored and having nothing else to do you can also read my other story In the shadows if ya want **_

_**Until the next time!xx**_


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